Speaking to oneself in the third person makes one wiser

Blog entry #99

Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." The path to true wisdom lies in knowing oneself. While my previous post talked about the various introspective questions to ask oneself, this one suggests a method to delve into self-reflection. Ruminating over your thoughts and concerns is discouraged because it drives you into a rut and would probably lead you astray rather than help you narrow down the root issues. Research depicts that people prone to rumination often succumb to depression due to their inability to make decisions under pressure. 

Enter 'Illeism'. Change your perspective slightly and reiterate your problem out loud, but this time, in third person. It helps you circumvent the biases in your head when you reframe 'I am frustrated...' to 'Mary is frustrated...' Take a specific situation, such as changing your job. Adopting this zoomed-out perspective will not only help you see the pros and cons more clearly, but also weigh the risks in a distanced, nonchalant manner.

Researcher Igor Grossmann found that illeism, as exemplified by Julius Caesar, resulted in people having better emotional regulation and stability. Keeping a third-person diary had the participants experience muted negative feelings and more accurate predictions of their positive emotions. It was found that wiser reasoning allowed them to find enhanced mechanisms of coping with their thoughts and feelings.

Though it is tough to improve intelligence in a generic manner via brain-training, the above research more than hints that wise reasoning and better decision making are indubitably within one's power, if one sought to do so.

Introspective Questions

Blog entry #98

In school, you are rewarded only for giving the right answers but in life, you discover the real power is in asking the right questions. In order to lead a meaningful life, learn to introspect, and understand your own self by asking questions. For starters, you can meditate to know what you're feeling deep inside of you. Become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and state of mind. Ask yourself if you're happy and grateful for everything you have around you today, whether it's people or materialistic things, or as simple as a roof over your head, some good food, and clothes to wear. When asking yourself if you're happy, don't spend too much time thinking about the answer. The first answer your mind pops out is usually the truest one.

Below are additional questions you may choose to ask yourself. While the list may vary over time, you will start to observe that your life has become better by merely asking these introspective questions:

1. Am I waking up excited every day?
2. Do I enjoy what I do currently in my job or business?
3. Do I find my work to be meaningful?
4. Am I continuing to learn new things and continuing to be excited about them?
5. Are there other ways I can get better at what I do? Am I working on those or do I have a plan to work on them?
6. Do I feel well-equipped to connect with people?

While these are generic ones, there are other questions you can ask yourself every morning, such as:

1. What is my most important priority for today?
2. Can I achieve that in a faster and more efficient manner? (This question is to help you tap into your creativity to optimize your day)
3. What tasks should I not focus on today? (This would help you identify and separate distractions from your tasks)
4. What can I spend time on today to move one step closer to achieving my long-term goals?
5. How can I help one person today? (Despite your daily work, remember to be kind)

Additionally, as you enter new stages in your life, such as getting married, moving in, having kids, your questions can become more specific, catering to these phases, such as:

1. Are my children happy? 
2. Am I doing the best I can to spend meaningful time with them?
3. Is my partner or spouse content?
4. What about this relationship makes me the happiest?

Last but not least, this question will help you grapple with a difficult situation or phase in your life:

1. What questions am I not asking myself?

Asking this from time-to-time will help you discover yourself more deeply. Many times, you may avoid discussing or even introspecting an uncomfortable topic. Deal with your brain's responses to the above question and find yourself feeling more peaceful at the end of the day.

Ultimately, it's all about taking the time to brood over your thoughts and feelings, self-analyze, and over time becoming a better version of you.