The Science behind Self-Talk

#153

According to Brian Pennie, if you wish to stop ruminating, compulsive thinking, unrealistic rule-following, and negative self-talk, try the following two things, for starters:

Reframing your self-talk

We all have a story, and it is written with the words we use. If you tell yourself you’re depressed, you’re going to act accordingly. If you tell yourself you suffer from anxiety, it’s likely that you will. It is therefore critical to choose your words carefully, especially when talking to yourself. Whatever you keep reinforcing your mind with, it'll start becoming true. Ray's second short film Bahrupiya depicts this brilliantly.

In a world full of distractions, our excuses for procrastination have become increasingly problematic, resulting in the inability to take action. When writing this article, my self-talk sounded something like this: “Maybe I can start on this tomorrow morning,” “Maybe I should get some work done first,” “Am I hungry?,” “Oh, I’ll just check my Instagram first and then get back into it.” Switch all of the above with “Just do it,” or “Let’s just make a start, even if it's slow.” Once you begin, let momentum take care of the rest. When you feel low especially, try replacing “I can’t,” “if only,” “I must,” or “he/she made me feel like that” with proactive phrases such as “I will,” “I choose to,” and “let’s look at this another way.” This practice is empowering, and when you make the switch, even your posture will change.

“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” — Emo Philips

Practising self-observation

Instead of constantly trying to change how you think, how you feel, how you behave, simply observe. Observe your state of mind, your breath, your thoughts. It need not necessarily be in a meditative stance, it can also be when you're seated in a chair and have some free time to think about things. It could also occur when you're walking, or lying down. Try to observe without engaging. When you practice self-observation regularly, you will create a sense of detachment from negative self-talk and emotions. When they no longer consume you, you'll remain happier and more peaceful. Isn't that the ultimate goal? :) 

“Dialogue is about creating awareness through self-observation; it starts from the inside out, not the outside in.” —Oli Anderson