Counting Sheep, Not Hours

#256

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything." — Irish proverb

Lately I haven't been able to successfully maintain a wind-down routine. Chamomile tea, no-screens-after-9pm, humidifier with aromatherapy. None of it stuck.

What works? Tiring myself out during the day so I just crash. No graceful shutdown. No memory of the transition. Just - Close eyes. Gone.

There are people who regularly and very easily fall asleep anywhere, anytime, on command. A superpower, genuinely. I applaud them and strive to emulate this skill of theirs. 

My current, unglamorous sleep hacks: tire yourself out throughout the day in good ways, and cut caffeine after 5pm. That's it. No app. No ritual. Just physics.

On adrenaline-heavy days or evening workout days especially, guided meditation on Insight Timer earns its place — not as a spiritual practice, but as a physiological off-switch. Ten minutes, and my nervous system gets the memo. There's also the Navy SEAL technique: progressively relax every muscle group from feet to face, picture a still scene, and reportedly fall asleep in under two minutes. Free. Worth trying.

And then there's my Apple Watch. Which, in late 2025, committed the unforgivable act of abolishing "Excellent" from its sleep score vocabulary. Replaced with "Very High." Stricter algorithm, better at detecting quiet wake moments, more aligned with sleep science — all reasonable. I understand it. I do not have to like it though.

What used to be a proud 93 out of 100 — "Very High," thank you very much — is now just "High." Participation trophy for surviving the night with five interruptions. Apple never signed up to be anyone's hype person. Fair. But did they have to be quite so ruthless about it?

Nevertheless, there are days I score low but feel great. Other days, even the best score doesn't reflect my sluggish morning demeanor.

All in all, as tech folks say - YMMV. Your Mileage May Vary. Eight hours is a guideline, not gospel. Some people thrive on six deep, uninterrupted hours. Others need nine and still surface groggy. The number isn't the point. The feeling is.

Do you wake up feeling rested? Does your body wake up not craving more rest? That's it. That's the whole rubric.

Now if you'll excuse me — bonne nuit, shubh raatri, oyasumi nasai — this writer is going to go practice what she preaches. Zzz.