Finding your people

#257

The Gym Phase

I tried the gym. No membership—just a free gym at my apartment complex. Thought willpower and discipline would carry me through.

It didn't.

I had no idea what I was doing. Which exercises actually worked? How many reps? What form even looked like? I'd wander around, copy what others were doing, and hope for the best. Some days I'd show up. Most days I wouldn't. There was no structure. No accountability. Just me, a lot of empty promises to myself, and zero reason to show up tomorrow.

The problem with relying on willpower alone? It's not sustainable. As James Clear says, "You don't rise to the level of your goals—you fall to the level of your systems." I had no system. Just good intentions.

The Pilates Detour

Then came pilates. A friend suggested it. I thought: okay, this will be the thing. A structured class. Real instruction.

It was brutal. Too hard, too fast, too demotivating. Everyone was supposed to hold a two-minute plank. I couldn't. People with toned cores breezed through while the rest of us—including me—felt inferior in real time. Work was already hard. I didn't need fitness to feel like failure too. Three months in, I quit.

The CrossFit Plot Twist

Another friend invited me to try CrossFit. First day, I walked in expecting more of the same. Instead, I found coaches who actually cared about form, not ego. Who scaled workouts so everyone could participate at their own level. Who celebrated the person PR-ing their deadlift as much as the person finally nailing a pull-up.

The difference? It wasn't the workout itself. It was the people.

I realized something: I'll do almost anything if I'm surrounded by the right environment and the right influence. Like-minded people who are on their own journey, not comparing theirs to yours. Coaches constantly encouraging, not judging. A community where you're not ranked against someone else's toned core—you're celebrating your own progress.

Eight months in, and I haven't stopped. Every time I travel, I itch to get back. Every time I get sick, though I try not to, I focus on immediate recovery as my highest priority so I can get back to the gym. Miss a workout day? It bothers me now. In the best way.

I started reading more about CrossFit. Paid attention to my nutrition. My sleep improved. One tiny system—showing up to my CrossFit gym—unlocked everything else. It became my 'keystone' habit.

Why This Matters for Self-Care

Self-care isn't just meditation and green juice. Sometimes it's finding the people and the place where you actually want to show up. Where consistency doesn't feel like punishment—it feels like coming home.

Your environment matters. Your people matter. More than you think.