The Two-Hundredth

#200

Yet another pretty eventful year! 

Wondering if things would return to the 'old normal', what with the scares of the Delta and Omicron variants despite two doses of the COVID-19 vaccine. Boldly venturing out to malls multiple times in the latter half of the year, while also taking care to stay safe as much as possible with the use of N95 masks and sanitizers.

Friends getting married, lots of them. Some to new people, some to people known earlier but didn't know were dating. Trying things for the first time, such as driving down from Chennai to Bangalore in six hours and making new dishes but also coming back to old things such as re-visiting The Board Room with different groups of friends.

Teammates leaving the old team, me switching to a new team in a new location, interacting with new kinds of people, trying out different roles, lots of unlearning and re-learning in the past six to eight months. Enjoying the roller coaster ride of ups and downs at work. Decluttering the house - out with the old, in with the new - is yet another mood uplifting joyride.

Looking forward to an even more eventful and exciting 2022. May we all have a better year than 2021 and hope to achieve our goals and dreams.

83

#199

What a movie! Brilliant screenplay. 

Everybody played their part superbly in recreating this historic moment in Indian cricket. What I enjoyed even more is the audience clapping and cheering for well-played shots, and even clapping during the end credits when pictures of the actual match and post-match moments were shown.

Post the movie, it was interesting to scour YouTube and watch the cricketers relive the moments shown in the movie and how most of them actually happened, some of which turned out to be funny or iconic. For instance, when Kapil Dev said that he placed fielders ‘there, there and there’ and Balvinder Singh Sandhu has absolutely no idea what his captain is talking about and asks ‘where, where and where’. Or when Madan Lal urges Kapil Dev to let him bowl for just one more over when Viv Richards is batting and the captain is hesitant at first but ends up giving it to him. And the rest is history.

The past few movies I’ve watched in the theatre (83, Maanaadu, Spiderman: No Way Home, Doctor) have all turned out to be pretty good. Now I’m back to staying safe at home and catching up on the Marvel movies I haven’t yet watched, such as Ant-Man and Shang-chi.

 

Mindless Scrolling

#198

With TikTok viewership on the rise especially during the pandemic, I feel we've resorted to watching brainless things even more. When I'm burnt out from work or just want something super lightweight to watch, I tend to aimlessly scroll through YouTube Shorts after I forced myself to uninstall Instagram due to mind-numbing reels.

Well, that didn't work out too well, now did it? Since the same content came up in Shorts too. For instance, watching multiple guys and girls reading random funny tweets, laughing and commenting, stating 'fun facts' which turn out to be not-so-fun while pouring water out of a bottle for no reason at all, and utterly useless 'fails of 2020' clips with the 'oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no' bg music that had gone viral and I suppose still is.

My phone is so smart that it doesn't even have an 'uninstall' option for YouTube and Netflix, but luckily has a 'disable' option instead. Despite all these measures, I do feel ashamed when I give in to temptation and continuously watch these clips for at least an hour. I feel annoyed at myself for not exercising self-control, but at the same time not be able to get myself out of this rut. 

Maybe it'll change, maybe it won't. I just hope I can get myself to watch at least something slightly useful and move away from toxic asininity.

Blender Mishap

#197

Many a time, I overestimate the capacity of my small blender. Sometimes, when I'm lazy to choose the bigger blender and end up stuffing ingredients into the smaller one to supposedly 'save time', I end up making a huge mess that takes me much much longer to clean up than if I would've spent just a few seconds longer to bring out the bigger blender.

Every time I tell myself that I wouldn't repeat this catastrophe, I still remain none the wiser. Same goes for boiling milk. I use an induction stove with a timer but still end up with spilt milk and a mess I use up so much energy to clean up that if I've just stood there for a little while, despite setting a time limit.

As humans, we tend to explain our behaviours after it has happened saying 'I anyway wanted this so it's good that it happened' phenomenon. Or at least I do. Since I don't clean my kitchen counter as regularly as I'd like to, which is daily or at least every other day, every time this happens, I tend to attribute it to the fact that it needed cleaning anyway.

Maybe it's a way to look at the bright side, or simply something I cook up to bring me solace. Either way, I just hope I someday learn to avoid spillage, or at least reduce the frequency of it to once or twice a year as opposed to few times a month.

Work, work, work!

#196

Finding work-life balance while working from home is so much more difficult than when we were going to office, or so it feels that way.

When at home all day, never-ending work just seems to manifest itself every hour. Especially the first half of the day.

No matter how fast I train myself to become wrt cooking, cleaning, hanging clothes, et al, somehow the hours just pass by like they were minutes!

And even though I'm 'chilling' so to speak in the second half, time runs by quickly then too. Is it me or has the length of a second dwindled over time? Sure feels that way.

To solve for this, on some days I try to 'eat that frog' and finish the top priority work item by 8AM and only then take up household chores - works well on those days sometimes, but doesn't seem scalable.

Maybe I'll find a panacea and when I do, I'll certainly write about it.

Toastmasters Story Contest: My Lockdown Story

#195

For the milestone meeting #600 of the Chennai Wordsmiths Toastmasters Club, there was a story writing contest wherein we had to submit about 600 words on 'my lockdown story.' I won the ice breaker contest (posted on April 2nd) was the first runner-up for the story contest. Here's the story I submitted:

It was a usual morning in the first week of April. I woke up, made breakfast, packed lunch for me and my husband, and started to office in the cab. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. We’d only heard of something called the coronavirus, a new type of disease that was spreading across China and places like Vietnam and Thailand. Once I reached office, I opened my email, only to find that a company-wide notice sent regarding working from home for the next 2 months. Two months? For this so-called 'epidemic'? Seemed a little strange. Nevertheless, we had to abide by it, and I was more than thrilled about it, because at the start of April, I had just launched my very first blog.

That was the beginning of the reality slowly sinking in. What we thought might just be a passing phase and get over in a couple of months is still ongoing. Wearing masks, social distancing, not meeting people in person, sanitising and washing hands more than usual, all this is now part of this new normal, which might as well be called 'normal' behaviour now. Rather than meeting rooms, we had to find ways to deal with poor internet connections and repeating sentences during office meetings. The one hour gala office lunch was now replaced with 1 22-minute episode of The Big Bang Theory, allowing more time for a siesta.

The months of April and May went by fairly quickly, with regards to writing more than 50 blog posts in a two-month timeline while grappling with the 'new normal' of many more meetings at work. Since I had more time in hand at home, I decided to kick my amateur cooking skills up a notch and experiment with baking in a pan. Also, rather than hastily preparing untasted food which was like a lottery, I was able to fine-tune my regular set of dishes to make them better. Decent cake-baking became the new normal in my house. My husband and I also found a free one to two-hour slot that we called 'board game time', which we utilised to play Scrabble or chess.

So far so good, right? Then came June and July, the toughest months to get by this year. Work suddenly became more hectic, I grew tired of spending half my time in the kitchen, and we started ordering in food a lot more. What’s worse, I couldn’t focus on my blog either! Amidst all this, however, the silver lining was that I had borrowed over 30 books from my parents so I had ample time to catch up on my reading. That kept me going for those two months.

Then came August and September. The start of fresh, new beginnings. I regained my focus, became more organised in most aspects of my life, and indulged myself in daily meditation to make me calm and composed. Since the previous two months had me eating a lot of junk food, I had to tap into my creativity and find ways to bring back healthy eating like oats into my regime, coupled with fitness goals. My immediate goal was to fit into my 'April clothes!' The cashier at the nearby supermarket was initially puzzled at my unusual purchases like flax seeds and brown eggs. Other purchases included Muesli over idli, 'Aval nice' over rice, and ghee over cheese. These two months too, were as exciting as the previous two pairs of months, where I’d taken part actively in new, unique activities. Here too, the silver lining was my finally joining Toasmasters, after giving a pep talk to myself since a year ago! That journey has been great so far too.

Overall, if you look at different aspects, I’ve either improved or stayed reasonably on the better side. My weight alone, if plotted, would look like a normal distribution graph - low in the initial months, peaked for a while after that, and gradually come down to low once reality hit me. Despite this year being an unpredictable roller coaster, I think it went well. Rather than a 'lockdown' story, it has been a 'set free' story for me. I’ve gotten a fresh perspective from being boxed within the house. I’ve rediscovered myself in ways like never before, and become braver, more confident, and a holistic individual.

The lockdown lifestyle has also taught me to appreciate the small things in life. I’ve been ever so grateful to be able to afford the things I can, to be able to spend time with others, at least over the phone, to be able to help those in need, and to find inner peace within myself along with sparking joy in creative output sessions. I hope and pray for those whose lives have not been as enriching or even worse due to this pandemic to get back on their feet as soon as possible. 

Video:

https://youtu.be/shXsH5YaZKI?t=8369

Time Loop Movie

#194

For someone with very high standards for liking a movie, I rather enjoyed Maanaadu. Of course I enjoyed the audience's reaction, which was way louder and appreciative for S J Suryah's entry as compared to Simbu's entry, probably unsurprising albeit still interesting.

It was nice to see the Tamil industry deviate from the usual mass and masala movies to an intriguing, slightly intellectual portrayal of time loop. Great to see a lot of the side actors also getting enough screen time as well as fairly meaty roles containing humour. 

Pleasantly surprised and rather amused when Tenet, another time loop (inversion, to be precise) was referenced in this time loop movie. It got interesting post the interval, which brought about a good twist, which makes you wonder how the loop would end.

Overall, a good experience but a one-time watch for me because I already know the story, so the only thing holding me captivated the first time around, the suspense, will no longer be there.

Theatrical Experience!

#193

Watched the Spiderman: No way home movie last week - I liked 'far from home' better but this was more enjoyable mainly due to the fact that the entire theatre in Royapettah, Chennai was filled with Marvel fans who clapped, whistled and cheered every time a scene invoked nostalgia. 

A great trip down memory lane, all the more for those who have watched all the previous Spiderman movies and are familiar with the villains who've appeared in each movie.

As usual, Marvel movies always end with an unexpected twist which is shown post the end credits, and this time too, it did not disappoint, although I think due to the Marvel-lous (:P) audience having watched and been up-to-date with the TV series of each character as well, they kinda sorta knew what was coming.

Whether or not I like the movie has become moot ever since I came to Chennai. The audience's reaction is what makes it a masaledaar experience!

Now Discover Your Strengths

#192

Few notes from Marcus Buckingham's Now, Discover Your Strengths Audiobook:

1. 'Strength' is the predictable part of your performance
2. Something you must be able to do consistently
3. It's a specialty that energizes you
4. And you can fathom doing it repeatedly, happily, and successfully
5. Learn to distinguish your natural talents from what you can learn
6. Practice does not necessarily become perfect
7. Talent is recurring pattern of thought, feeling, or behaviour that can be productively applied
8. While skills help you perform, they will not help you excel
9. Discovering your strengths is the process of self-awareness that your strength is a combination of your talent, knowledge, and skill
10. Focus on strengthening your strengths, not fixing your weaknesses

Eye exercises

#191

Given that most of us are spending more than 8 hours in front of the screen every single day, consider spending literally just 3 minutes every morning and every night on these eye exercises:

1. Blink normally, consciously, mindfully for 30 seconds
2. Rotate your head slowly while staring at one point for 30 seconds
3. Rotate eyes slowly for a total of 30 seconds - 15 clockwise and 15 counterclockwise. Close your eyes for 2 minutes after this exercise
4. Make an 8 with your eyes slowly for a total of 10 seconds
5. Close and open your eyes for 3 seconds each, thrice
6. Push your temples for 3 seconds, thrice
7. Close your eyes and look up and down while closed for 5 seconds
8. Focus on a near finger for 10 seconds, and then a far away object for 10 seconds

Productivity Styles

#190

Productivity styles based on 4 personality types:

If you get into analytical intricacies yet you're focused on your goal

If you're competitive in the sense that you always back the point you make with compelling data

And you get energized every time you clock yourself when running through routine tasks to get better and better

And you streamline things at work by setting up email templates, or at home by cutting vegetables a week prior

You're a Prioritizer

If you're detail-driven and hyper-organized

If you get things done by grouping similar tasks, which help you achieve 'Flow' state

And you thrive on creating to-do lists for things that can be done in less than 15 meetings to squeeze in-between meetings and get done

You're a Planner

If you love creating colour-coded calendars

If you enjoy facilitating and talking to others to pave the way to make things happen and put mechanisms in place

And you easily intersperse solo work with group work

You're an Arranger

If you are a 'Think Big' type of person

If your primary tools are post-its and whiteboards

And you're not a fan of structure

And you're a sprinter rather than a marathoner

You're a Visualizer

Toxic Habits

#189

How emotionally intelligent people reframe toxic mental habits:

1. Avoid being caught in the addictive downward spiral of unproductive thinking
2. Instead of desiring to be validated by those around you, become aware of the unrealistic thinking and check to see if you're happy with what you're doing
3. Allow yourself to be okay with failing and making mistakes. Remind yourself that no one is perfect and that not making mistakes does not deem someone worthy
4. Instead of punishing yourself for doing a stupid thing, learn to forgive yourself and do better next time
5. Make your mind understand that sometimes things go wrong and it's okay
6. Change the 'I've always been this way' attitude to a 'People can and do change if they work at it and I can try to do the same' mindset
7. Instead of depending on others to make you happy, decide what's best for you
8. Rather than avoiding facing problems in the hope that they'll go away, face the problem, accept your role in it, and look for solutions to better the situation

A World of Difference

#188

Recently, I booked a one-night stay at a 5-star hotel followed by a 4-star hotel the next month. What a world of difference! The 5-star hotel had way better customer service, rooms, room layout, restaurants, food, spa, and more!

It may be possible that these 2 are very specific examples of the 5-star hotel raising the bar while the 4-star hotel could improve in a lot of ways. It'd be good to gather sample data on both by visiting more 5-star and 4-star hotels for better metrics to compare.

Delving a little into the details of the difference, the first thing was the location and size of the bath tub. The 5-star hotel, which we'll call Hotel A had a much bigger tub situated right in the middle of the big room with a sliding door separating the bedroom from the bathroom while the 4-star hotel, Hotel B, had a smaller tub squished to one corner of a small bathroom with a regular door. The price difference between both rooms was less than 2k.

Another thing I observed was the omelette at breakfast. Hotel A had a beautifully wrapped professional masala omelette while B served with a home-made-like ordinary-looking one. Maybe because I was biased, the taste seemed different too, but I don't really recall now.

On entering the room in B, there was water on the floor and the power kept going out. Though someone came to fix it, the resolution was to ask for another room and move there. The beds and pillows were fluffier in A and the in-room amenities also differed a tad.

Finally, the spa experience with A was customer-obsessed as opposed to an unenthusiastic, uninviting experience received in B. However, B scores brownie points for having a steam room, a great first-time experience.

Overall, might be too harsh a judgement on B since it was a one-time visit. Will I go there again? Nowhere in the short-term, for sure. Long term, maybe, who knows? I reckon I'd rather spend a bit more for an experience I know for certain is going to be more enjoyable.

Have you had a good vs not-so-good hotel experience you'd like to share?

[Poem Spree] Focus

#187

Focus on your life, your work, your goals

Hustle to see yourself fill the empty holes

Actively take on many different roles

And perhaps, inspire a few souls

Put on blinders, adopt tunnel vision

Keep reminding yourself what's your mission

Free your mind from any inhibition

You are your own competition

Them 'Boosters' - happy pics and a T-Swift song

Soothing instrumentals or a sing-along

In these things, there ain't no right or wrong

Pick whatever works, find where you belong

Play to your strengths, achieve more and more

Till your body's tired and your brain, sore

Make you forget who and what you were before

Focus on the present and future, till the days of yore!

[Poem Spree] Comfort zone

#186

Step outside your comfort zone

Find the rhythm, find the tone

Encourage yourself every day

You've got a hundred things to slay today!

Give your body the rest it needs

Continue doing for it, good deeds

Great things will happen in due time

Sleeping more is not a crime!

See what's important, mind the urgent

Keep a log of all the time spent

Create a process and a framework

Responsibilities, you're not one to shirk!

You can do it all buddy

Set aside time for serious study

Hustle hustle hustle, girl

Let your talents and strengths unfurl!

[Poem Spree] 8-liners

#185

Challenged myself to write at least 8-line poems on random topics, whatever pops to mind:

TBBT

The big bang theory

Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj

Binge watch till our eyes become weary

A show that never gets too old to rewatch

Penny enters in the Pilot

Bernadette 3 seasons later

Amy in season 3 final cut

Ladies galore, fun was greater!

Fights, arguments among discoveries

Rom-com, thriller all-in-one

Later seasons made recoveries

So much laughter, so much fun

Shakespeare

Shakespeare the Great

The Bard, the Poet, the Playwright

Ever wonder what he ate?

Be surprised - you just might!

Left brain, right brain, what a conundrum!

Read all about it, and then some

Use one, use both, the time will come

Where you're adept at everything, old chum!

Psychology

Welcome to the world of psychology

Where I try to explain terms via analogy

Anchoring, framing, confirmation bias

In reality, it's utter chaos!

Poor, poor Kitty Genovese

The killer stabbed her with ease

Onlookers did nothing as if having a brain defect

Thus was born the bystander effect

Little Friend

Under the mistletoe

Dressed in a little bow

Was the littlest, prettiest puppy I'd seen

How lucky, that day, I'd been!

Took him home, fed him too

Who'd left him there, I'd no clue

Together we played

Together we stayed

OTT

YouTube, Prime, Netflix

Thrillers to chick flicks

Could there be any more distractions?

All around us abound subscriptions

What a crazy two weeks it has been

Times I'm awake no one has ever seen

Slackened, deviated, lack of time

Responding only on messenger named Chime

Didn't read or write outside of work

Other responsibilities too, I did shirk

It's been so hectic, what can I say?

Can't differentiate night from day

[Poem Spree] Monotony

#184

Day after day

Hours go by

Life finds a way

To simply get by

Whether you wonder

Or be immersed in a task

Time will pull asunder

To bits, your task

Breakfast, lunch, dinner

Afternoon tea - we can give it a miss!

But you're a smooth spinner

Got nothing under duress

Toastmasters, doc reviews

Office work, then some blogging

Multitasking may seem like a clever ruse

Until for an hour, you go jogging

We all crave for change

At some point or the other

Let's turn the page

And help one another

Could this poem be any more random?

I think not, but it's okay!

I will not abandon

Myself or the things I say!

Writing is fun, so are poems

Rhyming, wordplay, shrewd puns

Confined within the walls of our homes

I prithee, try this once?

[Poem Spree] VUCA World

#183

Sharing a few more shorter poems written on a whim!

Consumed by inaction

She helplessly lay there

Wanting to gain traction

She urged herself to dare

To venture into the unknown

Enter into the VUCA world

Determined to achieve, all alone

Her arms quivered, her head twirled

Scared but focused, tense yet happy

Step by step, one by one

Svelte, shrewd and scrappy

So many hearts she eventually won!

Continuing the Poem Spree

#182

On Math

I was in grade one

They taught me to add

It was great fun

And not so bad

In grade two we had more

I learned to multiply

How easy to score

I was quick to comply

Grades 3 and 4 went by

I entered secondary school

It made me wanna cry

O how uncool!

'Cause grade five was abound

With fraction and decimal

My head spun around

Nothing seemed normal

Grades six, seven, eight

Algebra, math, geometry

I thought it was fate

Until came symmetry

Akin to freehand drawing

Making mirror images

Not at all annoying

Filling up these pages

Grade nine math was unique

Something uncommon, so unusual

Chances of scoring so bleak

I couldn't afford to be casual

At last came the final grade

Ten grade, Oh my God!

Math was now a game I played

What a happy ending, please applaud!

Lean six sigma training

#181

Back in college third year, KPMG offered a 2-day workshop on Lean six-sigma training. Here are some of the things I learned about:

Day 1:

1. Systematic, data-driven approach - problem-solving
2. Convert business problem and solution to statistical problem and solution (infer from business)
3. Problem - chronic/long-lasting: addressing it will be impactful
4. D: Define or identify problem statement
5. M: Measure or identify factors influencing barriers to achieving the goal
1. Factors: people, technology, environment competitors, past experience
6. Assumption - all people using the process produce the same results
7. A: Analyze - regression analysis
8. Bell curve - depicts average 
9. Y - lagging indicator - CTQ - critical to quality (people: skill, process: variation, tech: compliance)
10. X - leading indicator
11. Bill Smith - production engineer - came up with MLAC
1. Michael Harry + Bill Smith - evaluation of six sigma
12. Six sigma: 3.4 maximum defects per million opportunities
13. Requirements -> design -> developments -> validation (CTQ)
14. Paradigm shift:
1. From quality being the effect to being the cause
2. Presence of process mandatory to maintain consistency
3. As-is -> to be: comply with ISO
15. Role of management: change process in lieu of people
16. Six sigma approaches (2)
1. DMAIC - existing process
1. D: customer expectations
1. Select performance characteristics critical in meeting customer requirements
2. M: defects frequency
1. Create + validate measurement system
3. A: why, when, where
1. Identify sources of variation from performance objectives
4. I: fix
1. Discover process relationships + establish new procedures
5. C: stay fixed
1. Monitor implemented improvements to maintain gains
2. DMADV - for new process
17. Affinity diagram
18. Kano model
19. Project scoping tool - in/out frame
20. GRPI checklist - goals, roles, processes, interpersonal relationships
21. VOC - voice of customer - customer comment, issue, critical requirement
22. SIPOC - supplier, input, process, output, customer
23. Levels of process mapping

Day 2:

1. Deliverables
2. Fishbone diagram
3. 7Ms - machine, method, measurement, man, mother nature, material, money
4. 5Ps - promotion, price, people, processing, packaging
5. Cost-benefit analysis
6. Control impact matrix
7. Data collection plan, sampling
8. MSA - measurement system analysis
9. Fleiss’ Kappa
10. Kendall’s coefficient of concordance 
11. Minitab, box plot, run chart, rolled throughput yield, pareto chart, work-value analysis, cycle-time analysis, hypothesis testing - t test, anova, chi-square, TRIZ - theory of inventive problem-solving
12. Process management system
1. Documentation and standardization
2. Monitoring
3. Response plan
13. Control variables
1. Mistake 1 - tampering
2. Mistake 2 - under-reacting
14. Effectiveness of implemented solution 
1. KPI - key-performance indicator
2. KRA - key responsibility area
15. Retrospection - project closure

Summarizing Tidbits from James Clear Articles

#180

Before reading Atomic Habits, I used to subscribe to James Clear's blog. Here is a gist of tidbits from those addictive articles I simply couldn't stop reading!

Replace Deadline with Specific Action

Instead of saying 'I'll get 500 YouTube subscribers in 100 days', change it to 'I'll record and publish 1 video every Tuesday and Friday for 2 months.' Do the action sincerely and the results will follow. Don't worry about the outcome, focus on getting your content out.

Avoid Edge Cases

If you’re considering following a new eating regime but you’re worried that you won't adhere to it when you go out with your friends on Friday nights, that becomes an edge case. Friday night isn’t going to make or break you. It’s the work you put in during the other meals of the week that matters.

Execute Identity-Based Habits

To become a better writer, write 100 words each day. Over time, if that's what you really want to do and writer is who you really want to become, the goal will increase to 200 words, 300 words, and so on, until you find a sweet spot that works for you in terms of producing good content as well as gets things done.

Engage in First Principles Thinking

Elon Musk says this is the best approach to learn to think for yourself. A first principle is an assumption that cannot be broken down any further. It'll help you think like a scientist and paves the way for innovation. For instance, carrying bags to the airport in a vehicle will still require you to carry it in your hand within the airport. Solution - combine the bag with the wheels! Bam, enter trolley suitcase.

Let's look at first principles in action. Imagine you have a motorboat, military tank and a bicycle. Breaking these down into their constituent parts, you get:

• Motorboat: motor, the hull of a boat, and a pair of skis
• Tank: metal treads, steel armour plates, and a gun
• Bicycle: handlebars, wheels, gears, and a seat

One way to recombine these is by combining the handlebars and seat from the bike, the metal treads from the tank, and the motor and skis from the boat. There you have it - a snowmobile.

Beliefs on Beliefs

#179

Most people I see who are devoted to their faith seem to be hypocrites. What I mean is that they frown upon others who do things they don't claim to believe in but they themselves do as they please. Also, such people don't tend to be caring, generous human beings. In fact, they come across as selfish. It reminds of an anecdote in the Prayer of the Frog wherein a lady would go to a particular temple every single day. She'd pass by several poor children on her way who’d keep begging for food or money. She’d choose to ignore them claiming to be a devout believer in God. One fine morning, the temple was locked. The lady arrived, seeing the temple locked, frantically looked around to see if she could find a reason as to why the temple was unusually closed that day. Near the lock, she found a small note containing 4 words - ‘I am out there!’

How much do theists really give away as charity? How much do they act in accordance with goodwill? They seem to be pouring loads of cash into 'Hundiyals' and buying flowers, garlands, milk, honey, wicks and matches, while instead they could’ve bought a poor soul food and more with that same amount. Another thing I notice is that atheists and agnostics don’t take offence as easily as faith-followers. Even the little things can set them off. Hypocrisy may be seen in this aspect too.

Would you rather have a devotee who is rude to others or an atheist who is kind, generous, charitable, and a good human being? I’m choosing the latter every day of the week and twice on Sunday! Understand the meaning behind things, behind your faith. Why do you do what you do? Do you truly believe in it or do you follow what your parents and elders around you taught you when you were a child? Another common occurrence I see in temples, especially in the South is when people hold each ear with the opposite hand and half-squat as a sign of asking for forgiveness. Isn’t it better to not commit the crime or mistake at all in the first place rather than begging for forgiveness later on? Also, how many people do you see coming to temples to only thank God and wish well for others, without asking anything for themselves? Most people there seem to be praying only to wish for something for themselves, selfishly. Faith in God isn't a barter transaction but it has been made so. Same is shown in the movie 3 Idiots. 

It'd be interesting to explore the deeper meaning behind all of this someday. The most baffling question yet to be answered is perhaps the one of 'Why do people belonging to different religions not celebrate the commonalities but fight over petty differences?' In the end, we're all just bones and can't be differentiated.

Fun-day in Coaching Class

#178

Back in 11th and 12th grades, I used to attend classes for IIT coaching. One fine day, one of my professors was in a 'gyaan' mood rather than a subject-teaching mood. So he told us the following tidbits which I've summarized, useful even to this day:

1. Assume the following graph with 'Performance' on the y-axis and 'Hours of study' on the x-axis
1. It'll form Maxwell's curve or what we call 'bell curve' because of its shape
2. You can only productively study for 20 minutes at a stretch
3. After that, when taking a break, do creative stuff rather than cognitive activities
4. You'll be better rejuvenated when you come back
2. Assume time to be a jug of water and the time spent on each sub-topic as a cup 
1. E.g. Physics:
1. Mechanics
2. Optics
3. Electromagnetism
4. Fluid mechanics
2. 4 glasses, one of each of the above
3. Don't fill them one by one
4. Instead, fill 1/4th of all - cover basics of each topic
5. Then, fill 1/2 of all - dive one level deeper into each topic
6. And so on
3. Brain oxygen levels compared to activity chosen:
1. Study - mind drained of oxygen - 😕
2. TV - increases oxygen drain - 😞
3. Creative stuff - increases oxygen supply - 🙂
4. Physical activity - booster for oxygen - 😄
4. Mode of test taking at home
1. Looking at answers is a waste since it won't help you think
2. Create exam atmosphere at home
3. Solve within the set time frame
4. Analyze every test:
1. Create a table with: 
1. Question number
2. Whether you got it right or wrong
3. Reason: lack of time, silly mistake, did not understand question, lack of confidence
2. Compare results with next test
3. Try to reduce silly mistakes
5. In any test, spend the first 10 minutes on what you will attempt at all. This will help save time.

The Great Indian Kitchen

#177

I just finished watching that movie and my immediate feelings are those of frustration, irritation and anger. The direction is so amazing that I felt as though I'm standing right next to her watching her go through all this or in some situations that I am her. It's sad to know that such orthodox practices still prevail in the country despite so much else having progressed. The movie makes it seem like the husband and father-in-law are sweet but they're really not. Insisting on manual processes like hand-washing clothes when there is a washing machine and having the women make hand-ground chutney when there is a mixie.

The ending, however, is something one may think of doing but not actually do it - felt that was a little over the top. With the millennial generation today, it feels like times are changing and so are generations of people coming around to the new ways of operating, at least in some cases. Even in-laws nowadays are evolving to become more accommodating, with the new fad being #ChillMil aka laid back mother-in-law. Their attitude is thankfully that of "You shouldn't go through what I have endured." E.g. the woman sitting away from the family during her period is no longer taboo. Moreover, both the husband and wife are working and earn equally hence the expectations too, are more lenient such as "If you can't cook, it's okay to order in!" Both husband and wife share the household work and the husband cooks too.

Anyway, coming back to the movie, if it isn't enough that the lady has to endure so much from the men, it's worse when the community of women itself encourage such behaviour. In one scene, in her own house, when her brother asks for water, her mother tells her younger sister to bring it for him. On seeing this, the protagonist yells and asks why he can't get it by himself when he has two hands, two legs, and a fully functional body. There is a tiny scene similar to this also shown in the Malayalam movie Joji, where Fahadh Faasil is eating and asks his sister-in-law to get him water. She points to the fridge right next to him, points to the water bottle in it, and says "It's right here. Take it by yourself!" Kudos to the directors for showing such things more often in different, subtle ways, in the hope that it changes mindsets of those that desperately need one.

When comparing practices followed in olden days versus now, it's not practical to simply continue them without understanding the meaning behind them. For instance, women not working during their period was beneficial for them because otherwise they would have to walk several long hours to fetch water and carry back the heavy pot. Who is still encouraging such practices and why? How hard is it to take your own plate, throw the waste, or even get your own toothbrush, help out with the little things! Ironically, the husband character in the movie is shown teaching kids about family and the meaning of how prosperous it is to have a woman in the house.

Overall, this movie is a great watch. It'll help you understand the sad state of affairs in some places and if you belong to such a clan, hopefully tune your outlook toward such things and put things into perspective. Beware though, you might just feel your blood boil if you see a teacup near your sink for the next few days!

Laugh It Up

#176

Sharing a few random office jokes I find chuckle-worthy:

"In this job, we need someone who is responsible."

"I'm the one you want - on my last job, every time anything went wrong they said I was responsible."

"I'm a time traveller from the future. I came back to tell you how happy you'll be that you decided to hire me today."

"Remember, every question is a test so when they say 'how are you?' reply 'goal oriented, thank you'".

A young executive is leaving office late and sees her boss standing in front a shredder with a piece of paper labelled "important document". Eager to please, she presses start.

Just then, the boss says: "Great! I just need one copy."

"I'm applying for the information security position. Here is a copy of my resume - it's encoded, encrypted, and shredded."

(This has happened to me)
"I scheduled this meeting to discuss the scheduling of unnecessary meetings"

"How do I change the font in my pen?"

Work Wisdom

#175

I joined a new team at work. It's a greenfield opportunity where we get to build things from scratch. It's super exciting because most of my day goes in brainstorming, meeting with people across roles and teams, and trying to collate my thoughts in a narrative document.

Last weekend, as part of the systematic decluttering routine, I was going through some old papers when I came across a sheet with 5 proverbs. As I read them all, each one reminded me of my team. Funny coincidence that I could relate all five to my work.

We cannot solve problems at the same level of thinking at which we created them

-Albert Einstein

The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions

-Anthony Jay

Serious play is not an oxymoron; it is the essence of innovation

-Michael Schrage

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete

-Buckminster Fuller

He who asks is a fool for five minutes; he who doesn't ask remains a fool forever

-Chinese proverb

I'm now on a quest to find motivating phrases and sayings to inspire my team to work hard and deliver results to the best of their ability.

How Much Zzz Do You Need?

#174

Regarding the number of hours of sleep one needs, various factors come into play - your age, your gender, your body type, your genetics, and the amount of cognitive load you're taking on daily.

The actual number of hours needed also depends on how well you want your brain to function, since your performance suffers significantly even with one night of staying up. In an experiment conducted with participants around sleep deprivation, the following results were seen: 

• The group that received 8 hours of sleep saw no change to their cognitive performance throughout the 2-week study
• After 10 days, the participants who had slept 6 hours each night were as cognitively impaired as those suffering from 1 night of total sleep deprivation
• The group that got 4 hours of sleep took 3 days before they reached that same level of impairment. After 10 days, they were as cognitively impaired as if they had gone 2 days with no sleep
• The group that slept 7 hours a night were dozing off at a rate 3 times more than the group sleeping 8 hours a night just 5 days into the experiment!

This is interesting, because a) you don’t know you are sleep deprived when you are sleep deprived and b) you cannot effectively train yourself to need less sleep. All you may get used to is feeling tired all the time. Bottom line, you won't be able to get away with suppressing your tiredness to perform as well on cognitive tests as you would if you had received the full 8 hours.

It's ironic when someone tells you the reason they can only get five hours of sleep is that they simply have too much to do because the entire reason they're probably slower at doing those things is due to lack of adequate sleep!

Fun fact about 'placebo sleep': If you tell people they slept better than they did, they are likely to perform better on math and word association tests.

Make your donations impactful

#173

I recently read an article on better mechanisms to channel your philanthropic enthusiasm. Here are some strategies you can adopt to ensure you donate in a structured manner:

For many of us, charitable giving is mostly ad hoc or reactionary — something done after a natural disaster or around the holidays—and that’s definitely better than not giving at all. But the donations you make comes from your hard-earned money most of the time, which means that each one deserves the same level of planning and care that you’d give to your other investments.

And that’s exactly what a donation is: an investment in an issue that’s important to you. Build a philanthropic portfolio over time to track your donation habits.

It’s easy to follow the herd and blindly support issues everyone else is supporting, but to create a philanthropic portfolio that you find exciting and inspiring, it’s important to reflect on the causes that matter most to you. Write down the causes that come to mind. Order them in a way you prefer and review the list every few months.

Next, find organizations or causes that align with your values and donation intention. Research on the reach and impact of the organization. Then decide your budget. Once you divvy up your allocated amount, start giving, while also deciding between a one-time donation versus a recurring one. Recurring donations also help you better plan your expenses and drive overall financial discipline for you and your family.

When re-evaluating your portfolio over time, don’t hesitate to swap the causes you support as your interests, intentions, and priorities change. The important thing is that you’re putting your money to work in a way that you find meaningful.

Vent Better

#172

Navigate the fine line between blowing off steam and causing anxiety to those around you.

The fine line between ‘I just want to talk about it’ and ‘I have this problem, help me solve it.’”

Ask for Permission

'Hi there. Can I complain about my day for five minutes?' Allow your recipient to opt in or out of the conversation before you unleash your tirade. This shows you respect their mental stamina you want them to give you at that moment.

Be Clear About Your Goal

Sometimes when you want the other person to just listen but they start giving advice that you weren't looking for, you'll only end up getting angrier and more frustrated. Instead, before starting to vent, convey that you just want them to lend an ear and that you're not looking to get any responses other than maybe a nod or a 'hmm'.

Pay Attention to Tone

No one wants to be shouted at, even if they’re not the reason for the anger. Sometimes, when you’re letting off steam, it can feel like you’re speaking in all caps, which can make the person listening uncomfortable or cause them to tune out altogether. Blow off your initial steam by writing or punching a pillow and then talk to people once you've calmed down a tad.

Have a Time Limit

Sometimes, people are left with a problem that may seem even worse after talking about it for so long. Set aside a 5-minute timer for this. Time out and go do something else.

Aim for Balance

See if your venting is sucking the air out of your relationships. Be thoughtful and respectful of the other person when you complain. Allow others to unload their frustrations on you. Be there for them. 

Which is the best solution I like from all the above?

None.

My solution: no need to vent at all. Introspect and reflect as to why you're feeling angry and that awareness itself will lead you to calm down.

Nowadays my brain automatically starts playing 'You need to calm down' anytime I get angry - works every time! 

Fun with Experiments

#171

I love experimenting - new food, new furniture layouts, new types of attire and accoutrements, new genres of books, songs and movies, what have you. 

Sometimes they work well, other times they either fizzle out or I land in a faux pas. The intent though, almost always works out - being willing to try different things and keeping an open mind when trying them out - a happier me!

Experiments also allow me to explore other sides of me, step outside my comfort zone only to have the thing I try out become the new normal. This behaviour of mine has seen a surge during WFH.

For instance, I started working in the living room with the sofa on the left side and my work table on the right. Experimenting with switching the position of both ended up improving my productivity - don't ask me why, but I'm happy I did it and the layout has stayed that way till today.

Starting to cook itself seemed like an experiment. Attempting to cook different cuisines itself was a series of experiments - from the basic South Indian meal to Mexican rice to Thai curry to Noodles, Pasta, and more. Surprisingly, all of them turned out great, encouraging me to experiment more. I realized that even for those experiments that don't work in my favour, I'm still happy I gave it a shot. You're better off than not having tried it at all.

So for those of you who are afraid to step outside your comfort bubble, come out of the 'safe' zone and you'll astound yourself by doing things you never thought you could do before!

It's time to say yes to things.

Braindump!

#170

Use brain-dumps to avoid getting overwhelmed

I find that when I am particularly stressed and/or feeling overwhelmed for one reason or another, I like to grab a piece of paper and a pen and dump all my thoughts on those pages.

It’s so therapeutic!

Pen and paper allows:

1. scribbles

2. tables

3. giant love-hearts

4. arrows

5. triple-underlining for emphasis

Once you get started you’ll want to pour out thoughts quickly. Put that phone aside and grab a pen and your diary. Figure out what you're feeling at that moment. Jot down where you're spending those hours that seem to get by very quickly. Write down granular versions of your goals. Look at how you're spending your time. Be honest. What might you want to be doing a year from now? Five years from now? It surely is scary to think about and jot down, but exciting to ponder over the prospects of what your brain thinks you could be doing! How much might you want to be earning? What might your future lifestyle look like on an ideal day?

Come back to reality. Write down one thing you want to change. Figure out a way to fit that into your so-called busy schedule. That's it. You're good.

Hopefully, after this exercise, you get a renewed sense of motivation and realize it’s all going to be okay.

Opposite Advice

#169

You've often heard people say, plan the night before, write out motivational messages, hustle, hustle, hustle, and celebrate even the small wins. Here's some food for thought that does not agree with any of the aforementioned:

 

"Every once in a while, evaluate your sequence, cross over what was done, and add new high leverage activities, that didn’t make sense to be done earlier."

 

1. Stop hyping yourself up before sleep, promising yourself that as soon as you get up, you will rock the day. This not only builds up false expectations, which may lead to demotivation if you procrastinate, but also puts added pressure in case you don't receive adequate sleep. Instead, wake up, and plan from there.  Tackle one thing at a time based on what works in that circumstance.

2. Don’t burn yourself out. In the beginning, people tend to rush into forming new habits, but in the beginning when any behaviour is fresh, your actions towards your goal may be unstable. Allow yourself to fail. Allow yourself to do whatever you can and slowly improve over time. Focus, for the first several weeks, on being consistent and not breaking the chain.

3. Focus on that hour. From the moment you wake up, even though your goal should be to do the best you can for the day, your focus should be in the hour that’s ahead of you. You're more likely to be more better disciplined that way and get things done in a streamlined manner.

4. Don't reward yourself for small completions. Working on your goals shouldn’t be something dreadful, that you have to reward yourself with. Learn to treat the accomplishment of the subtask itself as the motivating factor.

 

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily” — Zig Ziglar

A Walk in the Terrace

#168

Evening walks have become exceedingly popular this past one and a half years, thanks to the pandemic. Digital detox, away from phones, TVs, laptops, and the endless number of screens onto the terrace, where you get a minuscule chance to be one with nature.

On my own terrace, I say hello to all of my neighbours’ pots and plants. Looking across from one end of my terrace, I see a bunch of girls dawdling and almost eating their microphones while talking inaudibly. The other end has a few old ladies, perhaps in their sixties, rocking air pods and headphones while briskly walking in their sneakers and saris - an interesting combination but no longer a rarity. 

I don’t see many people on some of the other buildings' terraces but I do notice clothes hung and I turn it into a guessing game - look at the clothes and deduce who they might belong to. One batch is easy to guess - a woman's clothes and not too many of them - probably a girl living on her own in this city. Another set of clothes hung on the building facing the opposite street had an array of mixed clothes belonging to a couple whom I’d seen visiting the terrace not very often, that too at the beginning of last year. Recently, there are cute onesies and other tiny clothes being hung along with the regular batch - no points for guesses here!

Let’s talk birds. Two huge Banyan trees standing tall, facing each other, with the terrace I’m standing on in between them. One of them inhabits a murder of crows (learning the names of collection of animals finally pays off), who get quite chatty around 6PM and fly around for a bit after their round table conference while the other tree has mynahs and a few other smaller birds I don’t yet recognize, and a swarm of dragonflies hovering near the two trees. By 7PM, as darkness falls, one can see a cloud of bats flying east to west, origins unknown, landing on one of these two trees for a while before flying back and forth trying to find a comfortable spot to hang upside down.

By this time, I’m back home, having climbed downstairs in a bit of a hurry, as I’m kinda spooked by bats sometimes, especially when it’s dark. Besides, I would’ve reached my target few thousand steps for the day and all set for dinner and night meetings. Evening walks are like reading a book for me - they transport me into an alternative world for a short while, making me appreciate what’s happening there, and forget about the worries and other ongoing things back in the real world, a much needed refreshing hiatus.

Burger vs Fries

#167

After a month of struggling to balance cooking with household chores with office work with hobbies with virtual socializing, we thought it might be nice to order in every once in a while to save ourselves that time and energy in making something at home. Boy, was it bad! I ended up gaining 3 kilograms in just one month. For me, gaining weight used to not be easy at all. Now it's the opposite - hustling to lose weight via cardio, skipping, equipments, yoga, and staying away from rice and other unhealthy complex carbohydrates.

I slowly started tracking my weight on a weekly basis, sometimes losing 500 grams, then gaining it back within a day or two, tracking my calories intake via a food diary, and tracking the exercises I'd do every day, which varied a lot initially and then stabilized to a fixed set. During this period, I was super curious to learn the ingredient proportion and the calorie amounts in everything we ordered - pizzas, burgers and fries, coke (Coca-cola I mean, not the other one!), biryani, pasta, burrito, and more. I found out an interesting thing about one of the most popular food combinations in the world - burger and fries. 

Did you know that you're better off eating 2 burgers rather than 1 burger with fries?

I didn't until I read about it. The burger and fries combo has a lot of fat and carbs, which give it about the same number of calories as a burger, but very little protein. By swapping the fries for a second burger, you double your protein intake while simultaneously reducing both your fat and carbs intake. Burger + fries is listed as one of the top five unhealthiest meals in the fast food category.

Let's look at the calorific values. A typical burger with large fries amounts to around 1200 calories with 1700mg of sodium. Bump it up to a combo with soda to supposedly "save" costs, you'll be consuming a whopping 1500 calories with that one meal alone! A regular burger from McDonalds has 250 calories and 13g of protein. A medium portion of fries has 337 calories but only 3.3g of protein. A burger has 31g of carbs while the fries are at 42g. Moreover, the fries have double the amount of saturated fat (3g) as compared to a burger (1.5g). I'm feeling full and unhealthy just writing this.

Swapping those scrumptious-but-harmful fries for a second burger - what about 'balance' though? For that, it would help to talk about the ratios of the crucial components of any food - carbohydrates, proteins, fat. As most of us learned in school, carbohydrates provide us energy, proteins fuel our muscles, keeping us full for a good period of time, while fat helps us absorb vitamins and minerals and keeps cells healthy. Maintaining a well-balanced ratio of these three components will result in fewer cravings, lesser desire to binge-eat and better control of what we eat.

How about swapping burgers altogether for a more healthy choice going forward, eh?

Snippets from a Meditation Course - Learnings

#166

1. Maintain a meditation notebook.
2. Jot your experiences and reflect on your journey.
3. Count your breath - 1 for inhale, 2 for exhale, 3 for inhale again, and so on until you reach 10. Restart the count and repeat.
4. Sit in a chair, check your posture, adjust your seat if it's too high or too low, have your feet rested well on the floor, keep your spine straight.
5. Experiment with your thoughts, become aware and observe them.
6. Follow your train of thought and see where it leads.
7. Relying on motivation can become an obstacle. Force the position instead.
8. Walk slowly and be mindful of each step, experiencing the earth beneath you.
9. Find a mix of techniques that works for you - visualization, meditation in groups, walking meditation.
10. Continue practising regularly.

Snippets from a Meditation Course - Weeks 16 Through 20

#165

Paraphrased from the book 'Roaring Silence':

There are no ordinary apples.

Questioner (Mr. A): What is it like to experience the colour and texture of thought?

Practitioner (Mr. B): Pray tell me this - what is it like to see this apple? What is it like to touch the apple?

A: It’s cool and waxy . . . It’s very green, isn’t it! This doesn’t seem to be like an ordinary apple [laughs].

B: [laughs] There are no ordinary apples.

A: What?

B: There's no ordinary anything. You become able to experience the colour, tone and texture of thought because you develop the experience of openness in which you can see thought in its spatial context, space being the non-dual perception of emptiness and form. You have the apple in your hand, you can feel it. You're not distanced from it by thoughts about it. You simply catch the apple in space, and there it is – in your hand. 

Week 16 - Walking Meditation

Find a quiet place without distractions or obstacles like an empty room large enough to walk in circles. Walk with your eyes looking downwards at about 45 degrees but keep your head upright. Allow your eyes to relax and gaze to move smoothly over the ground.

Be aware of each part of your foot as it presses the ground. Be aware of sensations of your trackpants brushing against your legs and the slight brush of air against your skin. Walk at half your normal speed to experience this. If you're lost in thought, gently bring yourself back to the awareness of the present moment and sensations.

Try this for fifteen minutes every time you meditate.

Snippets from a Meditation Course - Weeks 11 Through 15

#164

These weeks spoke about flow, Lhatong, anger, and forgiveness. Lhatong is the Tibetan word for Vipassana, the Buddhist term for 'insight.' It allows you to see things as they really are.

On flow: To develop awareness of the mind and body, try to observe various aspects when thinking. What impact does change have on our lives? What do you think about when you have nothing to do? What do you envision for your future? What do you see yourself doing, talking, if your friends were here, or family?

On forgiveness: it does not imply that we allow ourselves to be trampled. It is rather the skill to avoid churning up our own emotions by endlessly reminding ourselves of the injustice.

On anger: when hatred is dissolved, employ anger to concentrate and see things clearly, which thereby help us become aware of our feelings and possible responses to the situation. Let's act in a way that prevents harm to ourselves and others. Observe the root cause first before making any decision. Sometimes anger can stem from fear too. As humans, we deliberately make ourselves angry to avoid feeling the underlying fear. Be alert for such signs. 

Snippets from a Meditation Course - Weeks 3 Through 10

#163

What happens when you lose the motivation to meditate? 

That used to happen frequently, now it's more exciting than boring, since I've spent so much time analyzing the why. Weeks 3 through 10 covered a variety of topics. One of them was the loss of motivation as a common obstacle. When you first begin to meditate, it is new, strange, exciting, and promises extraordinary benefits. Later, meditation may seem like an unpleasant chore.

The primary antidote to this is finding inspiration all around you. Read meditation books, listen to others' experiences after they have meditated for a while. Dive deeper into all the benefits that meditation provides - for the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Find a group to meditate with, the buddy system usually works well for such things. To iterate learnings from the first week, maintain a meditation notebook and look through your experience with meditation to re-inspire yourself. 

There are other ways to get back on track too - force yourself to sit in a meditative posture. Before starting the session, stretch your neck up and down, sideways, and in a circular motion. Stretch your arms, rotate your wrists, force a smile, and massage your face. You'll notice you've gained a tad bit of energy to begin meditating. If it's the other way round where you're too excited to calmly sit and meditate, take deep breaths and exhale with your mouth as slowly as possible. Do this a couple of times to relax your mind and muscles.

Snippets from a Meditation Course - Week 2

#162

During the second week, the Aro Meditation course walked through obstacles and their antidotes. It spoke about being persistent with the endeavour of meditating as the so-called obstacle and the antidote as the gentleness with which your mind must try to approach meditation. In the first week, sitting with the spine straight was no cake walk. However, it became easier in the second week. Sometimes sitting cross-legged worked, while other times Vajrasan worked best.

The subsequent weeks spoke about thoughts - from forcing thoughts out of the mind to remaining without any thoughts whatsoever to following a train of thought that arises in the mind. There are myriad techniques, so it is important to choose one that resonates with you. For me, following the simple train of thought helps. Over time, I've learnt to slow the train down so I can become aware of each thought that comes and goes by and how it makes me feel. 

Other times, I meditate about meditating. I try to observe and find the 'why' of meditation. What do I hope to achieve out of meditating ten minutes every morning? I have also tried to vary the time of meditation - sometimes mornings work best, other days I meditate at night to help me fall asleep. On weekends, I meditate twice a day and dive deeper into finding the 'why'. It helps me focus, it helps me concentrate at work, on my blog, and more. I start becoming more mindful of tasks like cooking, brushing, etc.

Snippets from a Meditation Course - Week 1

#161

I'd heard of gratitude journal, decision log, and BuJo until now, but TIL about a 'Meditation notebook', where you can record your meditation goals, experiences, and reflections. It's a pretty interesting way to progress through your journey of meditation. I started off by finding even five minutes of sitting in silence as excruciatingly long and having to try to control a gazillion thoughts flashing by a million miles an hour. 

If you think about 'how to meditate', it's a pretty easy recipe: "Be here now." Sit someplace quiet and comfortable, close your eyes and watch your breath. That's it! Only when you actually do it, if you've never done it before, will you know that 300 seconds is a long period of time when you're sitting trying super hard to control your breath. Initially, controlled breathing turned out to be counterproductive as it ended up with me feeling breathless, but gradually, it began to feel more natural. I'm happy to report that I can now comfortably meditate for about fifteen minutes, which is a darned good progress over five minutes. I still have a long way to go but I know I'm getting there and that's motivating.

When you meditate, try to be aware of what you're feeling and once you're done, note in your journal what you felt and how you felt during those few minutes - did you actually feel relaxed? Or since thoughts kept cropping up, you felt angry or agitated? Sometimes you may have even fallen asleep. Jot everything down. In the first week I wrote in the meditation notebook, one of the days I had written down "what a waste of time!" I don't feel that way anymore, thankfully.

Filtered Reading

#160

While others are busy infinitely scrolling through Facebook and Insta, successful people double down on an underrated skill that will change the way you approach reading.

In today's age of information overload, we are constantly trying to keep up due to FOMO (fear of missing out) but also constantly distracted from deep work and creative productivity. As Herbert Simon said "A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention". Our physical and digital environments are surrounded by more and more content , some of it educational, some of it 'fake news', some of it utterly useless information. Due to our devices designed to reinforce our confirmation biases by feeding us only what we constantly search for, it keeps us from knowing what is actually true. Moreover, too many good options combined with not enough foreknowledge on which is the best leads us to second-guess our choices and judgement on what is 'right'.

As Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us."

People who are able to absorb useful knowledge in a short time while keeping away the irrelevant data have a huge advantage over others. Despite a barrage of information coming at them with full gusto, they are able to discern the beautiful sounds from amidst the cacophony. They are able to change their approach to the news and other information from a reactive to proactive one. This is the underrated skill. 

In order to glean the helpful tidbits from the endless sea of knowledge, ask yourself when you read something: "Does this have the potential to fundamentally change my life?" While incremental knowledge that further confirms what we already know to be true is temporarily entertaining or exciting, it is quickly forgotten. Today's gossip is tomorrow's past rubbish. But today's breakthrough knowledge upends the status quo and helps us see a whole new side to things by challenging our beliefs.

Another way you can look at and imbibe new information is by learning how to learn and using mental models to convert plain text into your own self-formed analogy, story, metaphor, diagram, chart, what have you. Mental models are representations of phenomena that have been observed across time, across fields of study, and across domains of life. They deliver the maximum value out of the knowledge consumed because of their condensed nature.

Benefits of Music

#159

“Without music, life would be a mistake” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Did you know?

Happy or sad music affects how we see neutral faces.

Ambient noise can improve creativity

Moderate noise levels promotes abstract processing, leading to higher creativity

Our music choices can predict our personality

Blues and Soul fans - high self-esteem, are creative, outgoing, gentle and at ease

Jazz fans - high self-esteem, are creative, outgoing and at ease

Classical music fans - high self-esteem, are creative, introvert and at ease

Rap fans - high self-esteem and are outgoing

Opera fans - high self-esteem, are creative and gentle

Country and Western fans - hardworking and outgoing

Reggae fans - high self-esteem, are creative, not hardworking, outgoing, gentle and at ease

Dance fans - creative and outgoing but not gentle

Indie fans - low self-esteem, are creative, not hard working, and not gentle

Bollywood fans - creative and outgoing

Rock/heavy metal fans - low self-esteem, are creative, not hard-working, not outgoing, gentle, and at ease

Chart pop fans - high self-esteem, are hardworking, outgoing and gentle, but are not creative and not at ease

Music can significantly distract us while driving (contrary to common belief)

Drivers were tested while listening to their own choice of music, silence or “safe” music choices provided by the researchers. Of course, their own music was preferred, but it also proved to be more distracting. They made more mistakes and drove more aggressively when listening to their own choice of music.

Even more surprisingly, music provided by the researchers proved to be more beneficial than no music at all. It seems that unfamiliar, or uninteresting, music is best for safe driving.

Music training can significantly improve our motor and reasoning skills and especially Classical music training can improve visual attention

One-sided phone calls are more distracting than normal conversations

Music helps us exercise

Listening to music competes for our brain’s attention, and can help us to override those signals of fatigue, though this is mostly beneficial for low- and moderate-intensity exercise. During high-intensity exercise, music isn’t as powerful at pulling our brain’s attention away from the pain of the workout.

My own 'Did you know' from when I was little: "Music makes work fast!"

Habits of Highly Influential People

#158

Verbal habits of highly influential people - 

1. Share positives first, then negatives:
1. Professor Daniel O'Keefe mentions that sharing opposing viewpoints will allow you to be perceived as more influential than sticking only to the benefits of your own position, because you can address the fact that no idea is perfect.
2. Discuss potential limitations along with demonstrating how you will minimize or overcome them
3. Talk about the other side of the argument but circle back to show why you're still right, and remember to draw positive conclusions
2. Take bold stands:
1. Stand behind your opinions with vigour to instill confidence in your listeners
3. Pace yourself:
1. If your audience might disagree, go faster, as it gives them a small window of time to form counterarguments when listening to your next point
2. If your audience is likely to agree, speak slower to give them time to evaluate what you say and match it with their own initial bias
3. If your audience is neutral, speak fast to capture their attention
4. Make sure you're right:
1. Despite all the above points, take care to reiterate the most important aspect - your actual message. First and foremost, you need to be right. Be clear and concise, to the point. Win the day because not only your data and reasoning are solid, but also your conclusion is concrete and correct.

Ensure that when you persuade others, you put forth undeniably logical points.

Career Certainty

#157

It's perfectly fine to not be sure about where your career is headed or what you want to do in your twenties, and this is due to a variety of reasons. Firstly, your first corporate or work experience will not seal your fate for the future because you're just starting to explore what it's like to work. You will learn your strengths and skills over time and what you do over the next 25 to 30 years may be completely different.

Secondly, you can spend this time learning about the various phenomena of organizations and understand things like empathy, collaboration, networking, amongst technical skills. Work on your hard skills initially that will help you apply for different jobs, and once you're in, shift towards building soft skills too - balance between working independently and collaborating. Dive deeper into research and understand the 'why' of things while also produce high quality work in a short time while meeting deadlines. Start mentoring, volunteering, and taking on more than what is expected. One way to develop yourself is by investing time and effort to develop others. As you grow, build strong connections while also working out loud by making your work visible.

Develop your Q's - EQ (emotional quotient), SQ (social quotient), OQ (open quotient), and IQ of course. Understand the basic elements of others' emotions, appreciate how emotions influence social interactions, see what actions you can take to improve harmony and productivity via teamwork, resolve conflicts effectively, be a leader.

Gaining this understanding of psychological aspects and human dynamics, especially at work, will allow you to be more effective and satisfied.

Revealing Questions

#156

Questions that truly reveal someone’s personality and capabilities (answer both the direct question and why you chose that answer or how you'd be doing that action):

1. If you could see 24 hours into the future, what would you be doing?
2. Which movie deserves a sequel?
3. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
4. Would you accept the gift of reading other people’s minds if it meant you could never turn it off?
5. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
6. Would you rather be able to eat as much as you want with no weight gain, or require only 3 hours of sleep a day?
7. What do you want to be remembered for?
8. If you had to do it over again, what would you study in school?
9. If you had to choose to live without one of your 5 senses, which one would you give up?
10. If you had your own TV network, what would it be about?
11. In what ways are you the same as your childhood self?
12. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
13. If you’re in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone cheer you up?
14. Would you rather know without a doubt the purpose and direction of your life or never have to worry about money for the rest of your life?
15. If you could master one skill you don’t have right now, what would it be?
16. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
17. Would you rather be married in an arranged marriage or spend the rest of your life single?
18. If you could be someone of the opposite sex for a day, what would be the first thing you do?
19. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
20. Would you rather have an extra hour everyday or have $40 given to you free and clear everyday?

This questionnaire reminded me of TBBT S8E16, wherein Sheldon and Penny ask each other a series of questions that would allow them to supposedly 'fall in love'.

The idea is to basically ask personal, thought-provoking questions and mix it up with questions that are fun, casual, intriguing, and don’t hint at any signs of manipulation.

Rules of the English Language

#155

Rules of English we don't know we know:

Order of adjectives:

opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose noun

Example:

lovely little old triangular brown Greek steel whittling knife

Hence, while we may find it natural to say 'little green men on Mars', we'd find it awkward to hear 'green little men.'

However, while King Kong and Little Red Riding Hood may be perfectly ordered, the Big Bad Wolf seems to be going against this law. How come in this case the 'Bad Big Wolf' sounds so wrong?

That's because its conforming to another linguistic law called ablaut reduplication.

It's when you repeat a word with consonants alternatively appearing like lovey-dovey or nitty-gritty. It also works with alternating vowels like ding-dang-dong. The order with three words has to be I, A, O, and I-A or I-O with two words like tic tac and flip-flop.

In school, we're only taught the basic set of tenses - simple, continuous, perfect, and perfect continuous . TIL there's yet another tense call the 'pluperfect', which is used when an extended state of action happened prior to another action in the past. For instance, “I realised I had been being watched.” Rather daunting, eh? Especially for people learning English. They also have to learn things like we don't use the present tense for things occurring in the present! “I comb my hair” doesn’t mean that you’re doing it right now, it just means you do it regularly. We instead use the present continuous “I am combing my hair” for actions that are actually happening in that moment.

If you think this is hard enough to learn when English is not your native language, there come the exceptions. Enter the Auxiliary verbs. Verbs like ‘to think’ are sometimes used as an auxiliary e.g. “I think you’re right”. This is why you might tend to hear non-native speakers use phrases like “I am thinking that you are right”. It sounds a bit weird to us, that's only because we've had years and years of immersion learning, meaning we've learnt by being directly in that environment for a long enough period of time.

English is largely made up of rules we don’t know we know. Surprisingly, the rules we know we know are a rarity! Happy learning.

Develop Your Mental Strength

#154

Did you know: You have about 70,000 thoughts every day! Some of those thoughts influence the emotions you have and the choices you make. Since we can't control thoughts that arise, let's instead see how we can mould our responses to those thoughts.

1. Replace "blue" thoughts with "true" ones

When you think, "I'm going to fail," respond with a positive thought of, "I can do my best" or replace "I always mess things up" with one of your past achievements.

2. Switch the channel

Instead of focusing on the problem, start thinking of various solutions on how to fix it. If it's out of your control, why bother worrying about it? There's anyway nothing you can do about it! When you catch yourself going into this worry or anxiety spiral, either switch the channel to an optimistic problem-solving stream or simply distract yourself with some movement - go for a walk, do a chore, work out.

3. Express gratitude

Maintain a gratitude journal before bed. Say out loud what you're thankful for with your family. Think about all the things you have. This will not only help you remain happy but also ward off destructive emotions like self-pity.

4. Ask yourself what you'd say to a trusted friend

"What would I tell my friend who is going through the same situation?" Reflect on the advice you might give them and it'll help you get clarity on what you need to do.

Here are a few signs that indicate you're a mentally strong person:

1. You are not quick to anger

2. You don’t yell because you know that by raising your voice, you’re lowering yourself

3. You are open-minded

4. You refrain from expectations on others

5. You keep things in perspective 

6. You forgive yourself

7. You take negativity with a grain of salt

8. You know that persistence pays off

9. You find solutions to problems and ways around obstacles

10. You do not blame circumstances on external things

 

The Science behind Self-Talk

#153

According to Brian Pennie, if you wish to stop ruminating, compulsive thinking, unrealistic rule-following, and negative self-talk, try the following two things, for starters:

Reframing your self-talk

We all have a story, and it is written with the words we use. If you tell yourself you’re depressed, you’re going to act accordingly. If you tell yourself you suffer from anxiety, it’s likely that you will. It is therefore critical to choose your words carefully, especially when talking to yourself. Whatever you keep reinforcing your mind with, it'll start becoming true. Ray's second short film Bahrupiya depicts this brilliantly.

In a world full of distractions, our excuses for procrastination have become increasingly problematic, resulting in the inability to take action. When writing this article, my self-talk sounded something like this: “Maybe I can start on this tomorrow morning,” “Maybe I should get some work done first,” “Am I hungry?,” “Oh, I’ll just check my Instagram first and then get back into it.” Switch all of the above with “Just do it,” or “Let’s just make a start, even if it's slow.” Once you begin, let momentum take care of the rest. When you feel low especially, try replacing “I can’t,” “if only,” “I must,” or “he/she made me feel like that” with proactive phrases such as “I will,” “I choose to,” and “let’s look at this another way.” This practice is empowering, and when you make the switch, even your posture will change.

“I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.” — Emo Philips

Practising self-observation

Instead of constantly trying to change how you think, how you feel, how you behave, simply observe. Observe your state of mind, your breath, your thoughts. It need not necessarily be in a meditative stance, it can also be when you're seated in a chair and have some free time to think about things. It could also occur when you're walking, or lying down. Try to observe without engaging. When you practice self-observation regularly, you will create a sense of detachment from negative self-talk and emotions. When they no longer consume you, you'll remain happier and more peaceful. Isn't that the ultimate goal? :) 

“Dialogue is about creating awareness through self-observation; it starts from the inside out, not the outside in.” —Oli Anderson

Technology - the Mind Hijacker

#152

“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.” — Anon

When we use technology, we often focus on all the things it does for us. But where all does it exploit human weaknesses?

Hijack #1: If you control the menu, then you also control the choices

Magicians do this a lot wherein they 'supposedly' give people a 'choice' but in reality, it's a fixed set of choices architected by the magician. That way, no matter what the audience chooses, the magician always wins. Why does this happen though? It's because we are focused on picking the ''right" choice as opposed to diving deep and questioning: "Are these the only choices? What's not listed here?" "Why are these the only set of options and not something else?" "What is the intent of the menu provider behind asking these questions - are the choices merely a distraction, a means to an end?"

Look at the photos on Yelp - what you'll see are pictures of colourful cocktails from different bars. It doesn't show you the park across the street from this bar. Similarly, when we wake up every morning, lift our phone to see a barrage of notifications, all it does is remind us how many things we've 'missed out on' since yesterday. Speaking of phones, we should probably start calling them slot machines from now on!

Hijack #2: Put a slot machine in a billion pockets

Every time we get a new notification sound indicating a new message from someone, dopamine is released in our brains. That's why we sometimes endlessly swipe down hoping to get a new notification. Wouldn't it be great if we did that and our phone displayed the message: “Really? Didn’t you check 10 seconds ago?”

Hijack #3: Fear of Missing Something Important (FOMSI)

We don't miss what we don't see. The thought, “What if I miss something important?” arises before rather than after we unsubscribe to something or turn things off. We must learn to reframe the 'what'd we miss' into a positive 'time well spent' perspective. Tech companies often claim that “we’re just making it easier for you to see the video you want to watch” with the autoplay feature, when they are actually serving their  own business interests. "Time spent" is the currency streaming and video companies compete for.

Hijack #4: Bundling customer's and company's reasons

When you visit a supermarket, have you noticed how milk and medicines are all the way at the back of the store? Well, that's by design. Grocery stores want to maximize how much people buy, and people most often purchase milk and pharmacy refills, so they put both at the back of the store rather than putting the popular items in the front and make it convenient for buyers. This is how they make what customers want tightly coupled to their business wants.

Similarly, for apps, there's always a "choice":

“If you don’t like it you can always use a different product.”

“If you don’t like it, you can always unsubscribe.”

“If you’re addicted to our app, you can always uninstall it from your phone.”

But how easily can those be done? For instance, NYTimes.com lets you “make a free choice” to cancel your digital subscription. But instead of just clicking “Cancel Subscription,” they send you an email with information on how to cancel your account by calling a phone number that’s only open at certain times.

If you want to see these in action, check out the movie 'Social Dilemma'. It'll make you think twice before using FAANG products and horrifyingly depicts how we're all mere lab rats in the eyes of the social media companies.